Where is there a school , that i can learn how to speak raccoon?

I really want to learn how to speak in raccoon. I have heard there are fabulous schools across the world that excel in raccoon. Could you please tell me the nearest one to South Yorkshire, i'd love to be able to go to the woods, and have a lovely chat with them. Thank You so much.Where is there a school , that i can learn how to speak raccoon?
I, myself, am a native raccoon speaker, and would be glad to instruct you for a nominal fee.Where is there a school , that i can learn how to speak raccoon?
I'm afraid you'll never find a school near you, in Yorkshire (as an aside, I may mention that I've had a little trouble understanding human there, but that's just fine as you live in a beautiful and great piece of country). Forest creatures star in many Disney films, perhaps someone over there actually is fluent in genuine raccoon, but I doubt it. On the other hand, most raccoons, in my experience, are receptive to a pleasant attitude and a gentle smile, and it's hardly necessary to do any speaking at all - to enjoy their company.